Mass Effect: Datapad
by HotMezoti
Summary: Revised "Datapad" story by putting it in chapters - finally figured out how to do that! Lemony content - Femshep and Garrus on the SR2. Garrus accidentally learns about her crush on him in the most embarrassing way. All Characters owned by Bioware. Completed story.
1. Chapter 1

_Got your claws in my skin_

 _and it doesn't make sense_

 _but I love it when I feel the pain_

 _Got your teeth sinkin' in_

 _what I'm fighting against_

 _the part of me that loves the rain_

 _There's a demon in me_

 _telling me to believe that you and I are everything_

 _There's an angel beside_

 _saying things just ain't right_

 _but I'm no good at listening_

Arty feat. Angel Taylor, "Up all Night."

Shepard twisted a piece of her hair idly between her fingers, her chin resting on her other hand at the table. _When did I first start to love him_ , she pondered. _When did admiration and respect change to something more? I mean, sure, I've always liked him, but thinking back, just when did that deepen_? She often indulged in these mental musings to help sate herself when her attentions to him were ignored, which was pretty much all the time. Garrus looked up across the mess hall and looked back at her, smiling. Damn, he caught her staring at him.

"Hey, Garrus, how about not taking forever with that coffee?"

"You know Shepard, I'm not here just to serve you. I keep that for the battlefield when I save you, you know, pretty much on a daily basis."

Shepard smiled, shaking her head. He brought her a cup of coffee and sat across from her, drinking his own cup of dextro-brew. They sat and drank for a few moments with other members of the crew talking at the adjoining table. Kelly came in the mess and sat down close to Garrus. A little too close. Shepard's eyes narrowed to slits involuntarily. She knew Kelly was attracted to him, although he didn't seem to return her feelings. Well, shit, he didn't seem to return hers either. Kelly started talking about the most recent mission to Pragia, and the aftermath of Miranda and Jack's blowout fight.

"Wish I'd been there to see it, Shepard." Garrus said laughing.

Kelly frowned, "It could have gone very badly if you hadn't been able to talk Jack down." She looked at Garrus and brushed against his arm.

Shepard cleared her throat loudly, "Yea, well, I knew Jack wouldn't take a chance on damaging the ship that she plans to go rogue pirate in."

Kelly's eyes went wide and Garrus laughed again. Oh, how she loved to make him laugh.

"Gotta go Shepard. Calibrations, you know." Garrus smiled and stood up and walked towards the main battery. Shepard sighed.

"You okay Shepard?" Kelly asked, "You know I'm here if you ever need to talk." Kelly tilted her head to look at her, as if trying to psychoanalyze her.

 _She's the last person I'd go talk to about anything_ , Shepard thought. "No, just thinking about all the work I have to do. I should go." Shepard took her coffee and went towards the elevator. Pushing the button for her quarters, she leaned against the back wall as the doors closed. Shepard shut her eyes. _How can I keep going on like this_ , she thought. For him to be so close, and be so hyper-aware of his presence whenever he was in the room. It was like her skin sensed him and alerted her with a prickling sensation to let her know he was around. It made her self-conscious to every movement, every word she said so she would not betray her strong yearning for something more between them. At least he was still her best friend, she consoled herself. No one was closer to him than she was. That would have to be enough. She wouldn't risk ruining their friendship with an attempt at a relationship.

She opened the door to her quarters and sat down at her desk, sifting through reports on her datapad. She was drinking cold coffee 2 hours later when she finally stopped to get ready for bed. Shower first, she thought. Hot showers seemed to help. Wasn't it supposed to be cold showers? She smiled to herself. Stepping out of her uniform, she turned on the hot water until the steam built up around her. Shepard leaned back into the spray, letting her long black hair take the weight of the water and lay heavy down on her back. She reached for her soap, a spicy strawberry aroma filled her senses. A rare girly indulgence she allowed herself, and she reveled in it.

Drying herself off, she looked at her naked body in the mirror. Cerberus improvements aside, she still hated to see the scars and glowing lines on her body. She missed her battle scars, and these new ones were unwelcome. They reminded her she is now part machine. She shivered, not from the cold, but the unwelcome thoughts pushing up that she was Frankenstein – a put together creation, a monster. _That's probably why Garrus has no interest in me_ , she mused. Ugh, she hated these times, the in-between times of battle and work, where her mind would wander to her thoughts and feelings. Shepard dressed in her nightshirt and shorts and went to bed. Closing her eyes for what she hoped would be a dreamless night.

 _She was walking though the Citadel, endlessly walking and looking for – what was she looking for? The mission, she was on a mission, but she couldn't remember what it was…_

 _"_ _Shepard!"_

 _It was Anderson. She quickly ran over and tried to ask him where they were heading when a deafening sound and looming shadow came over her head. Looking up, she saw a Batarian ship. Suddenly she was back on Mindoir, Batarians were everywhere attacking children, adults, putting them in cages. Gnashing her teeth, she brought up her omni-blade and charged, but her feet moved slowly, too slowly like she was running through water. She couldn't get to them- and suddenly they were all on the ship and it was taking off and away. She fell to the ground, gasping as she was left alone on the planet, useless and defeated._

Shepard sat up fast with a short scream. _Damn, not that nightmare again._ She put her face in her hands. To live it once was bad enough, for her brain to continue to torture her by reliving it in different incarnations was inhumane. She reached her hand down rubbing her jaw – it was sore. She had probably been gritting her teeth in her sleep. _I'll go to Mordin tomorrow_ , she thought, _see if he can give me something to help me sleep_. Chakwas refused to give her any more sleeping aids, stating something about too much narcotics. They didn't help anyway. Maybe Mordin had a different idea. She needed something to help her get a decent night's sleep.

The next morning the door opened and Shepard walked into Mordin's lab. "Hey Mordin, have you got a minute to talk?"

"Yes… wanted to talk, medical matters." Shepard braced herself, Great, another lecture about the dangers of high doses of narcotic sleeping aids.

"Aware mission is dangerous, different species use…different methods to work out stress, sexual activity useful, but must be careful-"

"Wait, What?" Shepard's mouth dropped, this was NOT what she expected to hear.

"-warn of chafing," Mordin didn't skip a beat, "however Cerberus improvements indicate no risk of allergic reaction."

Shepard was dumbfounded. "Mordin, what are you talking about? I came in to ask if you had anything to help me sleep, like pills or something stronger than Chakwas would give me."

Mordin continued, entering data in his omnitool as if she had never spoken, "Turian – human relations rare, little research available, however have forwarded some informational vids to your datapad on comfortable positions, precautions. Can supply oils and lotion to-"

OK, that was enough. Shepard grabbed his arm, "Mordin, you have to stop – what the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Garrus – aware of intense attraction, did research. Proactive approach best."

Shepard's usually pale skin started to turn an intense shade of pink. "Mordin, what makes you think –"

"Signs obvious to a trained scientist," Mordin scoffed, "increased heart rate, respirations, dilation of pupils, body language. Are my assertions incorrect?"

Shepard swallowed hard. She knew she was found out, and in a most embarrassing way. "Well, um, I.." She stammered. She didn't think it was possible to blush any more furiously, but the heat in her face was intense. She was frustrated at how her body continued to betray her. Mordin gave her a knowing look. "Okay, I am attracted to him, but he has no interest in me, not in that way, so nothing is happening between us, uh - sexually I mean."

"Hmm. Better to be prepared just the same. Information already sent, you can peruse it just in case."

Shepard hated looking like a lovesick teenager, but pushed her discomfort aside to ask, "Um, Mordin, are you saying that you've noticed Garrus…"

"No, no. Turian facial expressions harder to read. Assumed based on your reactions. May have made mistake- No, no, not mistake, inadequate data to support position, at any rate, cannot prescribe any sleeping aids. Cerberus implants create problematic reactions to alternative medications. Must default to Chakwas' recommendations. Is there anything else I can do for you Shepard?"

"Um, nothing, except not to repeat any part of this conversation to anyone."

"Agreed. Confidentiality assured Shepard. Happy to help anytime." He nodded and handed her a bottle of lotion.

Shepard grabbed the lotion and left the lab. She stopped in hallway to the conference room to process their conversation. God, that had to be her most embarrassing moment on the Normandy. Hopefully it would be her last. What was that he said? Sending vids and informational brochures? Jesus, Shepard shook her head. What next. She had to be more careful, if Joker ever caught wind of it, you might was well broadcast it over the com.


	2. Chapter 2

Taking the shuttle back to the Normandy from their mission to help Jacob find his dad, Shepard used the downtime to indulge herself in more musings about Garrus. He was sitting across from her, head down, fiddling with his visor. More calibrations, probably. She smiled. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She thought back to their mission on Noveria, how much he had complained about the cold. "Turians don't like the cold, Shepard." She remembered him saying more than once. When she had died when the Collectors attacked the Normandy, she had felt a cold she never thought possible. She shook her head, that memory was not one she wanted to spend time in. She did remember thinking about Garrus when she was losing consciousness. It wasn't until she saw him on Omega that she felt her heart lurch at the sight of him for the first time. When he almost died in front of her, she had been hysterical, that was when she realized she loved him. It was more than just friendship. She smiled, yup, that was when she started feeling a little adrenaline surge every time she saw him, steal glances, find excuses to visit him.

She sighed. If only he felt the same way. She looked up at him. He was still making adjustments to his visor. She closed her eyes again, imagining going to the main battery, telling him, "How about calibrating me?", he pulls her into his arms, starts caressing her. _I wonder what he looks like under that armor._ She imagined running her hands over his carapace, his chest. Ummm. Maybe she would look up those vids Mordin had sent her.

"Shepard?"

She jolted back to reality. "What! What's up Garrus?"

"Nothing, you were just moaning. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She blushed, "I'm fine. I was just… lost in thought."

Geez, she needed to get a grip.

In a few minutes they were back on the Normandy. Jacob sat still on the shuttle as Garrus and Shepard stood in the doorway. "Jacob?" Shepard extended her hand. He took it and stood up. "Thanks, Shepard. I appreciate you giving me the chance to make the decision." Shepard nodded. He left for the elevator.

Garrus put his hand on Shepard's shoulder as she watched him go. "That was a tough call, Shepard."

She looked up at him, "I didn't want him to torture himself by knowing he had caused his dad's death. Let the Alliance distribute justice."

"Agreed."

They walked towards the elevator. Getting in, Garrus turned to her, "Hey, you want to watch a vid tonight? Get your mind off everything?"

Shepard gave him a wide smile, "Definitely. My quarters at 19:00?"

"Sure, that'll give me time to change and get something to eat."

"We can eat in my quarters if you want, there's room." She bit her lip, did she sound too eager?

"Okay. I'll change and we can meet in the mess in 30 minutes. Get some food and go upstairs."

He got off at his floor and the elevator doors shut. Shepard did a little happy dance in the empty elevator. It had been a while since they had some downtime to spend together. She would try to push the envelope tonight, see if he responded. She didn't want to mess up their friendship, but if he felt the same way…

She went to her quarters and quickly stripped her armor off and jumped in the shower. She wanted to take extra time tonight to look good. After the shower, she carefully scrunched her dark curls to bring them out, putting gel in them. She put a little bit of makeup and red lipstick on. Instead of her usual casuals, she put on some cargo pants and a tank top. Hmm. She looked at her reflection. Was she trying too hard? Well, to be honest, she was. But for once she didn't care if she was a bit obvious. She cleaned up her quarters, picking up clothes off the floor and stuffing them in drawers. She glanced at her desk and saw the bottle of lotion Mordin had given her. _Holy hell_ , she grabbed it and hid it in her nightstand. That would have been awkward. She checked her clock. Barely on time, as usual. She ran for the elevator and punched the button for the mess. _Well, here goes nothing,_ she thought.

She walked into the mess where a few heads turned, but no one really said anything. Shepard was relieved to see Jack was nowhere to be found. She'd be sure to yell something embarrassing. She walked to the kitchen where Kasumi was getting some dinner.

"Hey Shep. Wow, you look cute." Kasumi said.

"Thanks, I don't always have to be a soldier, you know."

"True enough. Careful, or I might have to fight you for Jacob's affection."

"Jacob?" Shepard was surprised, "what makes you think I like him?"

Kasumi shrugged, "I don't, he likes you."

"Really, I hadn't noticed. I thought he and Miranda-"

Kasumi stopped her, "Hey, don't say that. You know he's my soulmate. He just doesn't know it yet."

Shepard laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about me. He's not my type."

"Oh yea, sexy, muscular, smart, what's to like?" Kasumi cocked her head looking at Shepard. "So just what is your type Shepard?"

"Don't have one."

"So, what should I bring to dinner that won't stink up your cabin, Shepard?" Garrus said.

Shepard jumped, she had no idea he'd walked up and was standing by her elbow. He was dressed in his casuals. _Damn, here is sexy, muscular and smart_ , she thought.

"Garrus! Well, uh, anything you want to bring, I don't mind." She flushed.

Kasumi watched the exchange. "Ohhh."

"Oh, what?" Garrus asked.

Kasumi grinned looking at Shepard. "Nothing. Just an answer to a question."

Shepard glared at her. She turned back to face Garrus. "I'm making a sandwich, and I have drinks already up there for both of us, so anything you want to bring is fine Garrus. You know I don't have a problem smelling dextro food."

"Yea, just why is that, exactly?" Garrus started rummaging through the rations.

Shepard put slices of meat and cheese on her bread, "It's the Cerberus implants. For some reason the side effects are improved tolerances. I could probably eat it too, I've just never tried. I'll have to ask Chakwas about it. Mordin said I wouldn't have an allergic reaction to Turians either." She stopped and looked down at her sandwich. Shit, that had just spilled out.

"Well, we'll have to try it then." Garrus said.

She drew in a quick breath and looked up at him, _Did he mean…_ No, she decided, he didn't mean that. They packed their food in disposable boxes and walked out of the mess. In the elevator, she noticed him staring at her.

"What, Garrus?"

"You just look…different."

"Bad different, or good different?"

"Good different. Your, what do you call it, hair? It looks nice. You don't wear it down like that often."

The elevator doors opened and she walked out. "Yea, I know. I like to remember sometimes that I'm not just the Commander, I'm also Jane."

They went into her quarters and put their meals on the coffee table. As Garrus started eating, she pulled out some wine. "It's okay for both of us." She poured them both some.

"Sometimes Shepard, I think you're more Turian than human."

"Really Garrus? Why? Not that I don't take that as a compliment."

He put his food down and looked at her. "Your fearlessness, ability to work seamlessly on a team, your sense of loyalty and honor. That's rare in a human."

She smiled at him. This evening was going better than she thought. She took a drink of wine.

"Umm. That's pretty good. What do you think?"

Garrus took a sip, "Yeah, I like it. It's pretty rare to find some we can both have. Where'd you get it?"

"Last time we were on the Citadel."

He smiled at her. She was always thinking of other people.

They finished eating, Shepard cleaned up, and pulled the vidscreen down. She looked at Garrus, "We can either sit on the couch or on the bed, I can angle it either way. But if we get on the bed you have to take your boots off." She pointed at his feet.

Garrus reached down, "No problem Shepard, I can stretch out better there." He started pulling off his boots.

Her heart started racing a little bit as she pulled the vidscreen down. Garrus was stretched out on the bed, leaning against propped pillows when she got it started up and climbed up in bed next to him. They watched Blasto II, laughing and pointing out inconsistencies in combat scenes. She felt a surge of excitement a few times when they brushed up against each other. She wanted to do something, put her hand on his leg, snuggle up under his arm, but she chickened out, imagining him looking down at her saying, "What are you doing!" If only he might find her attractive, just a little bit. She sighed _. I need some liquid courage._ She crawled down the bed and refilled her wine, offering Garrus more, he waved his hand no. She came back into the bed, sitting up crossed legged next to his chest. Maybe if I can't see his reaction, I'll be braver. She couldn't help but laugh at herself, the great Commander Shepard, reduced to a lovesick teenager afraid to make the first move. She took another drink. The movie would be over in 15 minutes, they'd seen it 3 times before. She lifted her hand to put it on his leg.

A sudden sensation on her back took her attention and she froze. He was running his talons through her long hair. She could feel him taking a curly strand and winding it around his finger. She turned slightly to look back.

"Always found this fascinating Shepard. It's so soft, and the way it curves around." He was rubbing it lightly between his fingers. She turned back to face the movie she was no longer watching. Shivers went through her spine as she sat glued to her spot, unmoving, feeling his gentle tugs as he played with her hair. Then he did something unexpected, she felt his warmth as he leaned towards her and sniffed her hair. He was inches away from her neck, she gasped in a rush of air and held it.

"What's that smell Shepard? Mmm. Nice."

"Uh, it's strawberry spice." She managed to squeak out.

"Yes, that's it. Strawberry. I remember that from when we were on the SR1."

Her mind reeled from the sensations when he suddenly sat back and let go of her hair. "Kelly uses something like that, doesn't she?"

The moment was gone. Shepard let out a breath, deflated and said, "What? Kelly? Who cares what that Cerberus tart uses." Damn, she'd had too much wine. She cleared her throat, "I think she uses cucumber scented shampoo. She was talking about it last week when we came back from shore leave."

"Oh," Garrus mused, "those different fruits tend to smell similar."

She didn't correct him. Soon the movie was over and he sat up and put on his boots saying, "Thanks for the movie, Shepard. That one never gets old."

She reached up for his sleeve, "Do you have to go that soon, Garrus?"

He smiled down at her. "Yup, calibrations must be done. You never know when that single shot from the cannon will make all the difference. See you tomorrow Shepard." He walked towards her door. She sat on the bed wrapping her arms around her knees, looking down, disappointed. At the door he turned around, "Sweet dreams, Jane."

She smiled. He turned back around and left. As soon as the door was shut she put her face in her hands. Ugh, this was so frustrating. She thought she was going to faint when he started getting close to her, playing with her hair, then he had to bring up that slut Kelly. She stood up and started pacing around. _Did he have a thing for Kelly?_ She thought back, nothing he said or did gave that indication. Besides, she seemed to be hot for Thane these days. She flopped down on her couch and poured herself another glass of wine. She picked up her datapad to move it on the table, then thought better of it. _Maybe I'm not giving him the right signals_. She opened the screen and looked up the information Mordin had sent her. She needed to do some research, her methods obviously weren't working. If she looked over the data, maybe she would find something that would give her some hope.

One hour later Shepard's head was spinning. Sifting through the medical terminology of Mordin's data, she did glean some new information, mostly on the logistics of Turian-human sex and how to prevent reactions and chafing on the skin. The information on Turian anatomy was fascinating and thrilled her. She had no idea they had ribbed penises. She smiled, _That would be nice_. She decided to do an extranet search to find information on flirting practices. She read for another 30 minutes, taking mental notes on body language, erogenous zones. Low growling sounds were signs of interest. Well, she could never pull that off. Turians were attracted to the neck area as well. Hmm. Maybe she could tilt her head to the side and rub her neck casually with her hand. She tried it and laughed to herself. It seemed silly, but it was worth a try. She was grasping at anything that might let him know she was interested without her coming right out and saying it. She'd rather test the waters subtly then take a chance on ruining their friendship. She went back to Mordin's data, rereading one in particular about Turian-human sexual positions that had images to go along with the narrative. Joker's voice on the com interrupted her thoughts.

"Commander, we're approaching Omega. I'm assuming you want to put departure off until the am?"

"Yea Joker, we'll go first thing after breakfast."

"Aye-aye, Commander."

She turned off the datapad and went to bed. Before she knew it, the alarm was going off, and she woke up with a splitting headache. "Damn wine!" At least she got a full night's sleep without nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3

Garrus walked into the mess hall where most of the crew was finishing breakfast. He checked in with Gardner for the dextro meal for the morning. He heard Shepard's name called out and looked up to see her walking in holding her head. She walked over to Joker and sat down.

"Geez, Commander, you look like shit."

"You need to work on your sweet talk, Joker. Ugh - too much wine last night." She put her datapad down. "I've got to take care of a few things today, including helping Aria with this guy Patriarch."

"Who's going?" Joker asked, stuffing eggs in his mouth.

Shepard almost wretched at the smell. She held her hand up to her nose, then said, "Garrus and Tali. I need people who won't give me a lot of questions." She punched information in her datapad, reviewing the mission. She showed it to Joker.

"You mean like Jack and Miranda?"

"Exactly."

"Seriously Shepard, you should see Chakwas. That's a nasty hangover."

"I'm going, if only to get away from those eggs." She wrinkled her nose and stood up .

Garrus turned around with his meal to see Shepard walking into medbay. He sat next to Joker. "What's wrong with Shepard?"

"Hangover. Just how much did you guys drink last night?" Joker asked.

Garrus thought back, "Not much, really. She must have had more after I left. "

"Well, that's a good thing for you because you're going with her on the mission today."

"We didn't talk about it last night, what's it about?"

Joker shrugged and pointed to her datapad still on. "Omega. Take a look."

Shepard looked at Chakwas squarely, "I promise, Doctor, I won't do it again. Scout's honor."

Chakwas gave her some pills and some water. "Take these and drink another full glass of water with your meal. It will take about 30 minutes to work, but it's effective. You just can't take them every day. It's the sulfites, I presume, that are giving you trouble."

Shepard took the pills. "I way over did it. Just one of those things, doctor. Next time I'll remember the pain and stop after 2 glasses."

Chakwas smiled down at her. "That's probably best. Stick to brandy, the after effects aren't as severe."

Shepard got up from the table and left medbay, walking back to her table at the mess hall. Joker and Garrus were having an animated conversation. She walked up behind Garrus to hear him laughing, saying, "Good one, Joker, good one."

Joker looked up at Shepard, "Hey, Commander, would you tell Garrus I don't know what he's talking about!" He held his hands out.

"What's up" she smiled.

"I keep trying to tell him, I have no problem taking credit for good jokes, but whatever it is, it wasn't me." Joker had a puzzled look on his face.

Garrus smirked, "Sure, Joker, no one else could pull this off. I just didn't know that's how you spent your time in the cockpit."

Shepard noticed for the first time Garrus held her datapad in his hand. She caught a glimpse and realized it had switched back over to the data from Mordin she had been reading last night. The images were on screen. She froze and felt the blood drain from her head.

Joker reached for the datapad as Garrus pulled it away, scrolling through the images. "What are you looking at?" Joker demanded. Suddenly Joker looked up and caught her expression and pallor. "Hey, are you okay Commander?"

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Garrus was still pulling the datapad away from Joker's reach when he turned back to look at her. His grin turned to confusion as he saw her reaction. She was ghostly white with her hand slightly outreached. Garrus followed her gaze to the datapad and it dawned on him what had happened. He switched it off and handed it back to her. "Sorry Shepard, I was looking at information for the mission when I picked it up and I must have pressed something by accident."

Shepard numbly took the datapad and looked down, her color changing rapidly to a bright tomato red.

"So what was it?" Joker asked Garrus.

"Nothing." They both answered in unison. She clutched the datapad to her chest. She knew her reaction left no doubt in Garrus' mind that she had been seriously curious about the subject, enough to look it up for diagrams and data. She wished she had been smart enough to laugh it off casually as some sort of mistake or joke someone was playing, but she had been too shocked to think that fast.

The uncomfortable silence continued as Joker looked back and forth between her and Garrus as neither one of them would look at each other. Joker cleared his throat, "Well, Shepard. Want to sit down and eat?"

She was startled into action, "No, thanks. I should go." And she turned and walked briskly to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed she collapsed on the floor of the elevator, dropping the datapad and putting her face in her hands. Oh, God, how would she ever, ever be able to look at him again. He must think I'm some sort of freak. She knew he had no inclination for xenophilia. He especially had no feelings like that for her, as a Cerberus machine she was worse than the average human. It wouldn't be so bad except that he was her best friend, and now she had ruined it. He would feel so uncomfortable around her. She banged her fist on the floor of the elevator. Dammit. She must not have shut the datapad down properly last night.

 _Shepard, the elevator has been open for over one minute_. EDI's voice came over the com.

She lifted herself up grabbing the datapad and walked into her quarters. She threw the datapad down and sat at her desk, feeling a little dizzy. Chakwas' words came back to her, and she went to the bathroom and got a drink of water. She looked up at the mirror and looked down. She couldn't even stand to look at herself.

"Fucking hell!" She yelled out. She didn't know how long she stood there, her mind going over and over through the whole scenario until Joker's voice came over the com.

 _"_ _Ten minutes to arrival on Omega, Shepard. Should I tell Garrus and Tali to suit up?"_

She couldn't tell Garrus not to come now, as awkward as it would be to go on the mission with him, it would be too obvious and make things worse if she changed her mind.

 _"_ _Commander?"_ Joker asked.

"Um, no, Joker. Please tell Garrus and Miranda to suit up." At least Miranda wouldn't notice anything strange between them like Tali would.

 _"_ _Aye-aye Commander."_


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard waited until the last possible moment to come down to the docking exit. She put her helmet on immediately and stood next to Miranda, who was waiting already. Garrus was there too, making adjustments to his visor. As they docked, Shepard strode ahead as they followed her to Afterlife. Shepard focused on the errands and the mission at hand, making sure Miranda was always around as a buffer. If she noticed anything different, she never mentioned it, complaining about the filth on Omega most of the time. A few times Shepard and Garrus caught each other's gaze, but quickly looked away. _God, this is going to be worse than I thought._ Shepard cursed herself for being so careless with the datapad. This was exactly why she had been afraid to tell Garrus about her feelings for him. Before she knew it, they were done and headed back to the Normandy. Shepard stopped to talk to Joker in the cockpit about their next destination. She looked up to see Garrus walking quickly towards the elevator. She paused, then looked down to see Joker's concerned expression.

"Sorry, Commander about this morning in the mess. I don't know what that was all about, but I know it upset you. I'm sorry."

"That's okay Joker, it's not your fault at all. I… made a mistake, that's all, and unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to fix it." She looked down and tears started to form in her eyes.

"Commander?!" In all the time Joker had known her, he'd never seen her cry.

She turned her back to the doorway so the rest of the crew couldn't see her. She sat down in the empty chair next to Joker and breathlessly said, "I'm sorry, I just need a moment."

He reached a hand out to her on her knee as she wiped tears that were spilling down her cheeks. She smiled and waved away his hand, "I'm okay, really, I'm just being silly."

Joker punched the button to close the doors to the cockpit to give them privacy. "Your feelings are never silly Shepard. Stay in here as long as you need to." She continued to try to stop crying, fanning her hands in front of her face, but the tears kept coming.

After 5 minutes she still wasn't composed enough to leave, so Joker left, then came back with tissues he got from the supply closet. He closed the door behind him again and instructed EDI to turn off the cameras and close her com to give them privacy.

"I'm not that great a listener, but I'll try, Shepard." Joker gave her a crooked smile.

Shepard wiped the tears that were lessening now. "I appreciate it, Joker. I'm not used to breaking down like this. I can't really talk about it, but I'll be okay. Thanks for being a friend."

"Sure, Shepard. Don't worry." He turned back to his computer and started punching in coordinates to their next destination- Illium. "You've got plenty of time before we get there Commander. It won't be until later tomorrow."

Shepard took some deep breaths and patted her eyes one last time. "Well, I think I'm ready to go out there. Do I look okay?"

Joker turned to face her. Her nose was red, her eyes were red and puffy and her face was blotchy. "I'd be lying if I said yes."

She laughed. "I can't stay in here any longer. I won't look better anytime soon." She stood up and walked to the door. She kept her head down and went in the elevator, fortunately no one was there as she went up to her quarters. She went to her bathroom and splashed water on her face.  
"EDI – where is Garrus?"

 _Garrus is in the main battery_. EDI replied.

She sighed and took a washcloth, soaking it in cold water and squeezing it out. She sat on the couch and placed it over her eyes. Soon she'd have to work on the late reports she'd put off last night so she and Garrus could have a movie night. _Well, I suppose I'll have more time to focus on work now._

She stayed in her quarters working for another hour until she looked more presentable, and walked down to the mess. She'd forgotten to eat all day and she was feeling pretty sick. Garrus was still in the main battery, she'd checked before she went down there. She grabbed a meal from Gardner, and was heading away when Tali motioned for her to come over. She reluctantly sat with her while she ate, nervously glancing up at the main battery door occasionally. Tali chatted on about what was going on with the migrant fleet, Shepard only half listening as she concentrated on eating as fast as she could.

"Don't you think so, Shepard?" Tali asked.

"Sorry, um, what?"

Tali looked at her, "You haven't heard a word I've said."

Shepard smiled guiltily, "I forgot to eat, I'm just feeling a bit sick, Tali, sorry."

"That's okay. I tend to go on and on sometimes. So, what's going on with you?"

Now Shepard was sorry she hadn't paid more attention to Tali's conversation. She started telling her about the mission with Patriarch, when she saw in her peripheral vision Garrus walking past them on his way to the elevator. Shepard stopped, becoming flustered, and looked down at the remainder of her dinner. Tali watched Garrus walk past them wordlessly and into the elevator.

She looked at Shepard. "What's going on with you and Garrus?"

Shepard put her fork down. "I can't talk about it Tali. It's too… personal."

Tali was concerned now. "I know I talk a lot, but anything you tell me would be confidential." She placed her hand on Shepard's shoulder.

Shepard smiled. "Thanks, Tali, I'll keep that in mind. You're a good friend." Shepard stood up and brought her plate and fork back to Gardner. She walked to the elevator and entered. As it closed, she asked EDI where Garrus was.

 _In engineering, Shepard. I can give you periodic alerts when he changes location, if you'd like._

"No, EDI. Thank you." She punched the button and walked out towards Kasumi's quarters. At least Kasumi already knew about her feelings for him.

She walked in. "Hey Shepard, I was just thinking about you. How'd your night with Garrus go?" She frowned seeing Shepard's expression. "Uh, oh. Not good, huh? I'm sorry, want to talk about it?" she sat down on the couch. Shepard sat next to her and told her about what happened the night before in her quarters and that morning with her datapad.

Kasumi let out a low whistle. "Whew, Shepard, that's fucked up. But pretty funny, actually, if you think about it."

Shepard glared at her.

"Sorry, but it's true." She giggled. "Oh, come on, it's not that bad. Maybe it's all for the best."

Shepard shot her another look.

"Well, now he knows how you feel, it's out in the open now."

"Yea, and he's totally disgusted by me."

"How do you know that for sure? You haven't even talked to him about it. He might be just thinking it all over. He was pretty gentlemanly in how he reacted."

"Yea, that's true. But he hasn't hardly looked at me or spoken a word since." Shepard wrung her hands.

"Well, neither have you, right?"

"No. I've just been too embarrassed."

"And afraid." Kasumi said and walked over to the bar in her quarters and poured them both a drink. She handed it to Shepard.

Shepard took a drink and sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid. I don't want to mess up our friendship. That's more important to me than anything."

"Then show him that. Talk to him and tell him that no matter what, his friendship and how much you guys mean to each other never changes. I mean, what really is the big deal. So he saw you were attracted to him and looked up some juicy sex stuff. Is that such a big crime? Sure it's embarrassing, but you have to get over it, and move on. It's not like he caught you making out with Grunt or something."

Shepard laughed. "I see what you mean. I'll talk to him I promise. Just not yet. I need a little more time to think about what I want to say."

They sat for a while longer, finishing their drinks. The conversation turned to Jacob and his perfect abs. "You know I tap into the Cerberus vidfeed and watch him do sit-ups. He has a schedule, he does them three times a day." Kasumi smiled wickedly.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "You can cloak, why don't you just stand in the corner of his room and watch in person?"

Kasumi's face lit up, "Oh, I do that sometimes too."

"I am not hearing this." Shepard put her hands over her ears.

"Hey, what's said in my room stays in my room." Kasumi gave Shepard a wink.

Shepard stood up. "I'd better go. Thanks Kasumi. I appreciate your help. I feel better about the situation."

"Good, Shep. Keep it all in perspective and just be honest with him. It's not a crime to have a crush on somebody. You know how to keep it professional, and so does he. Don't worry about it. It will all work out."

Shepard walked out of her quarters and headed towards the elevators and went to the bridge. She checked in with Kelly who told her Samara needed to see her. "You seem stressed, Commander. You know I'm always here to talk."

Good grief, did she wear all her emotions on her sleeve? "No thanks, Kelly. I'm good." She headed towards Samara's quarters.

Garrus stood outside Shepard's quarters waiting. He paced back and forth. He had been busy since their mission that morning, cleaning his armor, working with Connelly on the main gun, and had barely had time to process what had happened in the mess. He didn't like to leave things to fester, and wanted to discuss it with Shepard. They had been through too much to not work things out somehow. He knew she wasn't there, but he wasn't going to wait for her to come to him. He checked in with EDI. She was still in Samara's quarters. "Notify me EDI when she enters her quarters."

 _Of course, Garrus._ EDI replied.

Garrus went back down to elevator and decided to stop at the bridge. He wanted to talk to Joker. Shepard had spent quite a bit of time in the cockpit after the mission. Maybe he had some insight on what he should do.

Joker turned around, "Hey, Garrus. What's happening big guy?"

"I thought you might be able to tell me." He leaned against the wall.

"Geez, Garrus. I don't know what's going on with you two, but I know she's upset. Very upset, actually." He didn't want to betray her confidence, but he knew Garrus was her best friend and was trying to fix the situation.

Joker closed the door and turned on the privacy controls. "Look, I still don't know the story here, and to be honest with you, I don't want to know. All I can tell you is when I tried to ask her about what happened in the mess hall, she said she had messed up and couldn't fix it, and started crying. I mean, really crying."

Garrus was shocked.

"Yea, dude. I had to close the door, she couldn't stop sobbing. I didn't know what to do. I'm not good with that kind of stuff, you know. I've never seen her cry before."

"No, I haven't either." Garrus looked down.

"Well, the only other time was when you were hurt and in medbay. She was really tore up thinking you might not make it."

Garrus mulled it over. He looked up. "Thanks for the help, Joker"

"I don't know how much help I've been, but I wish you luck, man. You need to fix this, somehow."

"I'll do my best. I just don't know –"

Shepard's voice came over the com. _"Joker, turn around. We're heading back to Omega. Samara has an issue that needs our immediate attention."_

"Changing course now. ETA two hours. It's pretty late, Commander. Sure you don't want to put this off until the morning?"

 _"_ _Can't Joker. This mission works better late at night anyway."_

"Aye-aye." He looked up at Garrus. "Who's going, Commander, so I can let them know?"

 _"_ _Just me and Samara. It's a personal mission."_

"Okay, Commander. Just make sure you eat first. The food on Omega reeks."

Shepard laughed, _"Good point, Joker."_

Garrus sighed. Normally he would have grabbed some food and joined her upstairs with it as she prepared for the mission. Now it was awkward between them for the first time. He didn't want to distract her. He told Joker, "It'll have to wait. She'll be preparing for the mission." He left and walked towards the elevator, heading towards the main battery. To be honest, he wanted to sort through his own feelings about the situation. He didn't want to hurt her, wanted to try to salvage their friendship.

He tried calibrating, it was always going out of sync from some change to the system, some reaction of the operating system to the stress and strain from mass relay transit. After a while he gave up. He was making it worse than it was when he started. He sat on the cargo boxes and put his head in his hands. The images on her datapad ran through his mind. Medical in nature, but graphic nonetheless. Different positions of Turians and female humans having sex with detailed descriptions on how to logistically make it work. Looking at the datapad that morning and realizing it was hers, he had known immediately she was doing research with him in mind. If he had any doubt about that, it was put to rest by her reaction in the mess hall.

He really didn't know what to say to her. He had never considered interspecies intercourse before, never considered her in that way before. It was shocking that she had. How long had she liked him like that? Maybe she had a Turian fetish, and wanted to let off some steam and work out her stress. He let out a short breath, if that was the case, then forget it. He wouldn't risk their friendship for a one-night joy ride. Was that really what she was after? He shook his head. This was why he wanted to talk to her, but for now that would have to be put off.

She didn't seem like the type to risk their friendship for a fling. Could she be looking for a relationship? He pondered that. He thought back over the past weeks together, how she came down to the battery to talk to him more often, smiled more and more when he talked to her, spent time with her. She had looked really disappointed when he left her quarters last night after the movie. He thought about the times he had talked to Kelly, who was very obvious in her interest in him, and Shepard's abruptness with her. Wait – was she jealous? Jealous of Kelly? It started to dawn on him. What was it Joker had said, the only other time he saw Shepard cry was when he was in medbay and almost died.

Hmmm. He thought it over. Could he really do that? Have a romantic, physical relationship with her? The diagrams he saw proved it was not only possible, but enjoyable. He had some knowledge of human female anatomy, having worked with human female officers at C-sec. He had learned some things overheard from their conversations, but never pictured himself as a part of a relationship with one. He wasn't sure what he felt about her. He cared about her, more than he did anyone else. He had enjoyed their closeness, even caressing her hair last night. He stood up and started pacing in the battery. Considering this was crazy, wasn't it? He had to admit he was a little curious, but reality was a different thing. A sudden thought came to him, if she was a Turian female, what would he be thinking? He stopped pacing. _I would have mated with her already_ , he thought. He was struck by the simplicity of this perspective. Suddenly he knew he loved her. When she died, he had died too, turning himself into Archangel as a way to carry on her work and keep her alive with him in some way. When he saw her on Omega, he couldn't imagine ever being without her again. If she could see herself being with him, why couldn't he see himself with her? It had to wait, but he was determined to talk with her when she got back from Omega.

He walked out to the mess. He got himself a snack and sat down at the table. Only a few of the crew were there eating and talking. He hoped she would come down before leaving for her mission to eat as Joker suggested. They couldn't get into a big discussion, but at least he could let her know he wasn't upset and wanted to talk more later.


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard pulled at the hem of her leather dress as she and Samara went down the elevator towards the mess. Kasumi had gotten it for her for a mission they needed to go on, but it was appropriate for enticing an Asari murderess, so she wore it. Samara looked over at her, "I appreciate, Shepard, your willingness to help me out on such short notice."

"No problem, Samara. I just need to grab something to eat in the shuttle before we get there. I have to be careful with my Cerberus implants. My metabolism is faster-" the elevator doors opened and they walked out, "so I have to eat more frequently."

"Is the shuttle really necessary Shepard?"

"I don't want to draw attention by docking the Normandy, especially since we just left." They walked across the mess hall.

Garrus was sitting with his food halfway up to his mouth frozen in place. Shepard and Samara were deep in conversation walking past him towards the kitchen. He had never seen her dressed that way. She leaned over the counter, talking to Gardner. Her lean legs were exposed, so smooth, so different, but enticing. The dress clung to her every curve, over her round ample ass, tightly in at her waist, dipping low at her chest. Her hair was down like it was last night, but more wild, the dark curls draping over her shoulders and down her back sensuously. She ran her hand over the side of her hair and pulled it over away from her face. She had makeup on, like she had last night in her cabin, it brought out her features, her soft lips, her dark eyes. _Spirits, she really was beautiful._ She tossed her head to the side exposing her neck and shoulder. He let out a low growl. She grabbed a protein bar from Gardner and started walking with Samara towards the elevator behind him.

"Wow, Commander, nice look!" one of the crew called out appreciatively.

She looked up and rolled her eyes, smiling, then looked over and saw Garrus staring at her. She flushed and looked back at Samara, who continued talking strategy with her. They walked quickly past him and into the elevators. Garrus was still frozen to his spot, stunned. Suddenly he woke up from the spell of what he had seen and cursed himself. He had been so taken aback by her, he hadn't stopped her to talk. Now she would feel even more self-conscious with him staring at her like that, not saying a word. By the way, what kind of mission were they going on, anyway?

He started to get up, then realized he couldn't yet. Dammit, his plates had shifted and a hard-on was pushing up in his pants. He sat back down and took deep breaths to calm down. _Well, I suppose that answers the question of whether I'm physically attracted to her._ He thought smiling ruefully. He thought about the images on her datapad, picturing her in those positions. He groaned. He'd better think about something else or he'd never be able to get up from the table.

Shepard was back from her successful mission with Samara and slept through most of the next morning, getting up around noon and getting to work on the mission report. She found the best way to get through all the red tape was to get it done as soon as possible so it didn't pile up. She sat in her cargo pants and tank top, eating some snacks she kept in her quarters.

Suddenly her door opened. She had given her code to most of her senior crew, preferring to have an open door policy with them, knowing EDI would never let them enter if she was in a compromised position.

She glanced up from her desk. _Shit._ Her heart flipped in her chest.

"Garrus." She turned back to her datapad. "I'm sorry, I have a lot of work to do-"

"Shepard, we have to talk."

 _Christ, this was not a good opener._ She sighed and turned back around. She motioned to her couch. He walked over and sat down. She sat in the chair across him and thought about Kasumi's advice from the night before and took a deep breath. "I never intended for you to see that. It was an accident. I hadn't properly turned off my datapad."

"I know." Garrus looked across at her.

Shepard continued. "I really value our friendship, we've been through a lot over the years, and I hope we can just forget this ever happened and move on." She forced a smile and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Shepard, I can't do that."

She was crestfallen. "What?" Looks like Kasumi was wrong, after all. "I…I'm sorry Garrus, I should have never allowed myself to think of you that way, but I swear, I won't make you feel uncomfortable, I can be professional, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it yet, I was just embarrassed. I'm sorry I embarrassed you, really, please. Just…just give me a chance to be your friend again." She was desperate. She could feel the tears coming back and she fought to push them away. Garrus was the only one who brought out such strong emotions.

"Jane," Garrus said softly, "please stop." He sat closer to her. "I'm an idiot. Looking back I can see you were trying to tell me how you felt for weeks, but I was not picking up on the signals."

She sat still, looking down at her hands.

Garrus cleared his throat. "How do you feel about me, Jane?"

Well, after he saw those diagrams, anything she'd have to say couldn't be much worse. Shepard took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you, Garrus. I have been since before I was spaced, but I didn't fully realize it until I saw you again on Omega. I want a relationship with you, more than just friendship, but I could tell you didn't feel that way too. I hoped you would see me in a different way, and maybe start to have feelings for me too. I guess I was pretty obvious, because Mordin figured it out and tried to help by sending me that data. After the movie night, when I was trying unsuccessfully to flirt with you, I figured I needed to see what I was doing wrong and I decided to do some research."

She continued, "I know you're not into humans, and of course it's worse me being a rebuilt human as well. I hope you're not disgusted by me looking into it."

"Are you, Shepard? Are you disgusted by it?"

She looked up at him. "Well, no, of course not. I mean, some of it is different, but that's what makes it exciting, right? Our species are not so different after all." She blushed. She put her hands up on her reddening cheeks, "Damn, I wish I wouldn't do that."

Garrus let out a low breath. "Jane, I don't pretend to have a fetish for humans, but this is different. It's about you and me."

She nodded.

"When I said I couldn't go back to being just friends, it's because I have feelings for you too."

She gaped, did he just say that?

"Is that so hard for you to believe?"

She nodded.

He laughed. "Well, it shouldn't be. You're a pretty spectacular person, you know. I admit I was pretty shocked when I realized the datapad info was yours, but it got me thinking. And now knowing you aren't just looking to fulfill a one-night fantasy, I would be interested in doing some research too."

She swallowed hard. He reached out for her hand and pulled her over so she sat on the couch next to him. He held on to her hand, looking at her small digits and pale skin on his palm. He looked up at her and reached up to hold her face with his other hand. "I love you too, Jane."

She gasped and tears started to form again in her eyes.

"It's true. I have all along, but never thought it could be anything physical. I figured you'd want something closer to home. But I'm willing to try, and to be honest, I'm pretty excited about it because I never thought you'd be interested that way in a scarred up Turian like me."

"Oh, Garrus." She closed her eyes and rested her cheek on his palm. He pulled her closer and gave her a tight embrace. She pulled back to look at him and placed a tender kiss on his scarred cheek. She put her hand back behind his fringe and entwined her fingers in it, giving it a slight pull. He let out a low growl. _There's that sound_ , she thought and smiled. She lightly licked his mandibles as his growl got louder and he pulled her away.

He was turned on by her scent, her boldness, but he was also nervous, and wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing to avoid an awkward interspecies disaster, "You have me at a disadvantage, Jane, you've done your research, I haven't."

She laughed, "Okay, Garrus. You can do your research, but remember, the best research is experimental."

As hard as it was to push her away, he didn't want to screw this up. "I'll do my research, first, Shepard. I don't want either one of us to end up in medbay."

Shepard nodded. She looked into his eyes and leaned forward, brushing his lips with hers. "That's a kiss." She said. He reached back and took hold of her head, placing his forehead on hers. "And that's how Turians do it." She smiled. She'd seen Turians on the Citadel do that, and had always dreamed of having the same intimacy with Garrus.

He leaned back and looked down at her. "I'd better go, I've got a lot of work to do."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, even good things require work." He stood up bringing Shepard up with him. He squeezed her hands. "I'll be in contact with you." He smiled and walked to the door. When the elevator doors closed, she sat down on the couch, stunned. What a roller coaster ride of emotions this had been. She smiled, well it looks like Kasumi was actually right after all. Wow.

She went back to her datapad finish her report on Samara's mission. She wasn't 5 minutes into it when she got a message from Garrus.

 _G – Think you could forward that data from Mordin to me?_

 _S- Sure thing. Done._

She wrote another 20 minutes when she got another message.

 _G- what about the allergy thing?_

 _S- Not a problem, remember? My Cerberus implants. The only thing I need to worry about is chafing, and Mordin gave me lotion for that._

 _G- Really?_

 _S- Yeah, he said it was best to be prepared._

 _G- good plan._

Almost an hour later, she was done with her report and started to head to the shower. Another message from Garrus. She smiled reaching for her datapad.

 _G- You're right, the anatomy isn't that much different. I think it will work out. I'm currently researching human erogenous zones. They're a bit different from Turians. And I definitely need to file my talons down._

Shepard felt a twinge of excitement thinking about all the effort he was putting into this. She had a sudden thought,

 _S- I don't want to scare you off, but I haven't been intimate with anyone in years, and not since Cerberus rebuilt me, so I don't know exactly how things will go._

 _G- We'll go slow. Don't worry, Jane. Turians like it rough, but we can be gentle too._

Hmm. Turians like it rough, huh? That wasn't in Mordin's data. Looks like she needed to do some more research too.

 _G- I forgot to ask you if you would be my girlfriend._

She clasped her hands in delight, jumping up and down saying, "Yes!" To see it written out like that, she felt like a schoolgirl. She stared at the message for a minute, when another one came up.

 _G- Jane, did I do that wrong? Should I have done that in person? I can come up to see you._

 _S- No, you didn't do anything wrong. I am honored to be your girlfriend._

 _G- Wonderful._

She turned started to put the datapad down when another blinking light caught her eye.

 _G- So, my beautiful girlfriend. Would you care to join me in the mess for dinner?_

 _S- Dinner with my handsome boyfriend? Who could say no. See you in 15 minutes._

She jumped in the shower and got ready, going down to the mess hall. Garrus was talking with Mordin and Gardner. She approached the group.

"Shepard, good to see you. Glad data was helpful. Checking into dextro food question. Should be okay, no issues indicated from previous medical data obtained. Would like to test hypothesis out, if you are willing." Mordin had a plate of food in his hand.

"Um, sure, Mordin. I'd like to give it a try."

Garrus beamed as she took a fork and tasted Garrus' usual meal. It tasted a little different, but not bad. Mordin watched her closely.

"Just what would you be looking for as an adverse reaction?" Garrus asked.

"Swelling of the lips, face, throat; difficulty breathing, anaphylactic shock." Mordin replied.

Garrus' eyes widened and he started watching Shepard more closely. Gardner was entranced by the whole scene, looking at Shepard like a zoo animal. He'd never seen a human eat dextro food before.

Shepard ate half the food then stopped. "I'm okay, you guys, I'm just full. It was pretty good, actually." She smiled.

"Experiment successful. Reaction would have exhibited in initial 5 bites of food. If anything changes, Shepard, get to medbay immediately. Chakwas able to reverse any reaction. However, doubtful at this point. Appears Illusive man has given you more than he realized." He patted her on the shoulder and leaned in and whispered, "If you need any more ointment, let me know." She flushed and nodded at him.

"Well, care to join me as I eat, Shepard?"

"Of course Garrus."

They sat down at the table, Garrus putting an arm around her waist as they sat next to each other. She hadn't thought about the effect on the crew of her having a relationship with another crew member, but at this point, it seemed like there was no use in trying to pretend. He ate his meal as she snuggled into the crook in his arm. He finished and looked down at her and smiled.

"Hey, what's this?" Jack sat across from them and pointed between the two of them. "You two fucking?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. So much for subtlety.

"She's my girlfriend." Garrus said, squeezing her a little tighter.

"Awesome, Shepard. Once you go Turian, you never go back. Never figured you for a human-lover Garrus, but congrats." Jack gave them a smile.

"Thanks, Jack." Garrus got up to take his empty plate back. Jack grabbed Shepard's hands and turned her arms back and forth, then pulled her forward a bit and inspected her upper arms and shoulders.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Jack let go and leaned forward, talking low, "You guys haven't done it yet." She smirked.

Shepard frowned, "How do you know?"

Jack smiled, "No scratches, no bite marks or cuts. Turians like it rough, Shepard. But don't worry, you'll love it. I sure did."

Shepard's eyes widened.

"Don't look at me like that, you'll see soon enough. Oh – and those big, ribbed cocks? Mmmm. The best!" Jack leaned back as Garrus came back to the table. _Maybe I haven't been talking to the right person,_ Shepard thought. Since Jack had actual experience with Turians, maybe she'd be able to give her some helpful info.

Garrus came back down to the table and sat next to Shepard, putting his hand around her waist again. She leaned into him and placed her cheek against his chest. Jack ate her dinner and looked at Shepard, giving her a wink.


	6. Chapter 6

Joker walked into the mess and saw Garrus and Shepard in an embrace at the table and smiled, _Looks like he fixed it_ , he thought. _Good to see her so happy._ He caught Garrus' eye and gave him a thumbs up. Garrus smiled back at him.

Soon other crew members were filing into the mess, and Garrus excused himself to the main battery. "I'll see you in an hour or so Jane."

She smiled, rarely did she hear her first name, and she loved the intimacy of hearing him use it.  
"See you then, Garrus." He took her hand and held the back of it up to his forehead for a few moments, then left for the battery. Shepard didn't even notice Tali had sat next to her until she exclaimed, "Shepard, since when?"

"Since this morning, Tali. We're together now."

Tali squealed excitedly and grabbed Shepard's arm, "Oh, I'm so happy for you! I was worried about you two yesterday. Glad to see you got it all worked out."

"Yea, now they just have to work out the physical part." Jack said, stuffing the rest of her dinner in her mouth.

Tali laughed nervously while Shepard blushed, again. "About that Jack, I, um, wondered if you had any advice for me, since you've been with a Turian before."

"Well, I would say grip onto something stable and hang on for the ride." Jack grinned.

"Jack, I'm serious. I've done some research, but I'm starting to get really nervous about it."

"I don't know what to tell you Shepard, what part are you nervous about? You aren't a virgin like junior miss over here are you?" she gestured in Tali's direction.

"No, but it's been a long while. Plus I don't know what Turians really like or… I don't know, just forget it."

Jack leaned forward and talked to them in a lower voice, "Okay, seriously, they get a bit wild when they get into it, you know? They use those talons to grip onto you tightly, they get all basic animal instinct on you. They like it doggie style. That way they can pierce your hips with their hand and hold you in place. They can't really kiss like we can, but they like to try it. And they know how to use their tongue, and aren't afraid to. Oh, and they really get turned on by your neck, and if you pull on their fringe or kiss their neck."

Shepard listened attentively while Tali sat wide-eyed behind her mask. Jack continued, "Watch out for full-on biting on the neck, though. For them that means you're taken, like you're mating with them. You're branding them with your bite, and they mate for life. Like being married. Turians wear the scar of their bites on each other's neck as a sign to everyone that they are bonded. They might nibble a bit, but a bite for them is different than it is for us. That's why in a bar, you look for a mark on the neck to see if they are single or not."

Shepard thought for a moment, "I've heard about bondmarks."

"Wow Jack, just how many Turians have you been with?" Tali couldn't help but ask.

Jack leaned back in her chair, "Oh, lots."

Kelly walked up and sat with them. "Hey you guys, what's the girl talk about?"

Before Shepard could say anything, Jack retorted, "How Shepard's going to fuck her new boyfriend."

Kelly laughed, "Oh, sure."

Jack snorted, "When you see the bite on her neck, you'll believe it."

Kelly turned red, she knew enough about Turian mating practices to know that referred to Garrus.

 _Well_ , Shepard thought, _that's what you get for wearing cucumber shampoo._

"Don't worry Shepard, you'll be a natural." Jack got up to leave. "Gotta go, you're not the only one who's getting some tonight." She grinned.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Shepard asked

"Who said it was a guy, or a human for that matter?" Jack yelled back laughing.

Tali turned to Shepard, "By the way, what is 'doggie style'?"

Kelly spit out her drink, and Shepard grinned, "I think she can explain that to you."

Shepard certainly wasn't going to continue this discussion with Kelly, so she excused herself and went back up to her quarters. They were re-headed back to Illium, and wouldn't reach there until late tomorrow, so she had plenty of time to spend with Garrus that night. In the elevator to her quarters, she thought about what Jack had told her. She was starting to get excited about it, and sat in her quarters waiting for Garrus to come up.

She poured herself a drink, some brandy this time, having learnt her lesson with wine. She suddenly remembered the lotion, and pulled it out of the drawer and placed it on her nightstand. She almost finished her drink when she heard the code being put in her quarters and Garrus entered. He had changed into his casuals and looked hot. She licked her lips involuntarily. He smiled and walked over to the couch next to her.

She put her drink down, and he stroked her forearm with the back of his talon. She noticed he had filed them down, so they wouldn't scratch her. He reached up and held a strand of her hair in his fingers. "You are really fascinated by that, aren't you Garrus."

"Mmm." He said, "It's like a metaphor for humans. Soft, yet strong, beautiful yet fragile at the same time." He reached his fingers through her hair, pulling it back on her shoulders.

"You should see it when it's wet."

He was surprised, "It holds water?"

"Yes. I'll show you in the shower later." She smiled coyly.

"I can't wait."

She leaned towards him and lightly kissed his neck, he leaned over her taking in her scent. Her pheromones were intense, it was intoxicating. She reached up and pulled lightly on his fringe, eliciting a low growl. He reached over and pulled her up to sit on top of him so they were facing each other. She let a gasp as he pulled her head towards him and pressed her lips against his. His skin was as she had remembered, softer than she thought it would be, a leathery texture. He didn't have human anatomy, but was able to come close to a kiss with the muscles over his mouth. He opened his mouth lightly teasing her lips with his tongue. She readily allowed his explorations, moaning in delight as she tasted him for the first time. He was spicy and foreign tasting, but delicious. Her turian. She tried to respond in kind, but Garrus pulled back, "Jane, my teeth are sharp."

"I'll just have to be careful then." and she resumed, roaming her soft pink tongue in his mouth. He was thrilled by the experience. He started to reach his hand up under her shirt, anxious to explore more. Her skin was so soft, so different from Turian females. He must be careful not to hurt her. He reached up higher and felt her bra, he'd seen these before, but it was a bit of a mystery to him. She pulled back and took off her shirt over her head, then unclasped her bra. Garrus had seen pictures on the extranet for his research, but to see in person, then carefully reach up and feel them, he was entranced. Shepard smiled as she watched him carefully cup and lightly squeeze her breasts, it was like watching a teenage boy getting to second base for the first time. She giggled, then gasped throwing her head back when he leaned forward and licked her nipple with his rough tongue. Oh damn, he had done his research. He may not have experience with humans, but he definitely had experience.

"Garrus." She pleaded softly. He looked up at her and she pulled at his shirt. She wanted to see him and feel his skin. He complied, taking the top of his casuals off. He was lightly silvery colored, and she ran her hands over his carapace, feeling in the folds. She ran her hands down further to the waistband of his pants. He looked up at her reading her thoughts, and she got up and stood while he did the same and they both took the rest of their clothes off. Shepard was finished first, and watched as Garrus finished taking everything off. They stood for a moment and looked at each other, taking in the visual of the alien species in front of each other.

"Spirits Jane, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." Garrus looked down and noticed she also had hair covering the entrance to her vagina. His research hadn't told him that. He walked towards her and reached down, lightly touching her while placing a hand on her back for support. Her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Am I hurting you?" Garrus stopped.

"Ungh, no, no. If you're hurting me, I'll tell you. Humans can be very noisy during sex, I don't know about Turians, but it's not from pain." She grabbed on to his shoulders as she tilted her head back. He had found her clit and was lightly rubbing it. She felt like she was going to pass out. "Holy hell, yessss."

Garrus smiled and leaned down, licking her neck. "Let's get into bed." He said in her ear. She nodded. As he pulled back, she looked down at him, confused. "Um, Garrus, where's your, um, you know.."

He followed her gaze down, "My penis? It's covered by plates that shift to allow it to come out. We're more protected than human males because of the radiation on our planet. It doesn't happen until the very end, I try to control it before then so I don't get too rough with you."

She bit her lip, she was a bit concerned about the rough part. She thought back to what Jack had said about the scratching and biting. She suddenly remembered the lotion. She crawled over the bed and reached over for it. "The lotion Mordin gave me, he said it would help with chafing." She held it up. Garrus got on the bed next to her and took it, taking the cap off and pouring some in his palm. "Lay back." He said. She complied, and he rubbed the lotion over her abdomen, her thighs, turning her over on her back and rubbing it on her backside, legs. He turned her over again and pulled her arms up over her head, rubbing more lotion on her arms. He put the cap back on and reached over her to put it back on the nightstand, moving back pausing over her face while she still had her arms straight up. He leaned down and started nibbling at her neck while caressing her side with his hand. She was very curvy and had a small waist, which was a big turn-on for Turians. He pulled his hands behind her back and arched her towards him. She reached her hands down and ran them over his back, pressing her blunt nails into his skin. Another low growl from Garrus, and she knew she'd found something he liked. She pulled her legs out from under him to be able to pull them apart and wrap them around his hips. Garrus could feel his plates start to shift as she tightened her legs around him. He lifted himself up and reached back, grabbing her leg and putting it back down on the bed. "No, not yet." He said gruffly.

He sat up in bed on his knees over her. She was panting and looking up at him with dark, hazy eyes. He took some calming breaths and grabbed her legs, spreading them apart. Shepard watched as he leaned down and started lightly feeling around her folds, examining them, exploring with his fingers. She was wet, which surprised him. "Jane, have you already orgasmed?"

"N – no, not at all, why?"

"You're wet, Turian females do that when they orgasm."

"Human females get wet to uh, lubricate before they orgasm." She was having trouble putting a sentence together as he had started putting a finger in slightly to explore.

"Then what is the orgasm like? Damn, I should have done more research."

"Um, well when we orgasm, for you it feels like a, uh.." he was unknowingly teasing her maddeningly by putting a finger slowly in and out, a little further each time.

"Like what?" Garrus asked.

"We get tighter, the muscles spasm and grip you. We do ejaculate some, but it's not much."

"You feel pretty tight now, although you are loosening up a bit."

"Yea, that's how it goes." Christ, it was getting harder to have this conversation, but she knew he wanted to know what was happening.

Suddenly he was overwhelmed with the need to taste her. He leaned down and darted his tongue inside her and she arched her back on the bed, writhing in pleasure. "Garrus, oh, oh my fucking god!" She nearly lost it. She reached down and pulled on his fringe, hard, and he growled inside her. She started to climax, and he started to pull out. "Don't, don't!" she pleaded. He looked up at her, "I didn't want you to so soon. I'm not ready yet."

"So?" Shepard caught her breath.

Garrus was confused, "Once you orgasm that's it, it's over."

"No it's not. Is that how it is for Turians?"

"For the females, not for the males."

Shepard shook her head, "For human females we can cum, I mean orgasm, multiple times."

Garrus was surprised, he hadn't read about that. "Really?" She nodded yes. He pulled back down and resumed his ministrations, rubbing her clit while darting his tongue in her. His tongue was rough, and was able to reach further inside her. She started to climax and screamed out as the white hot waves of pleasure overtook her. Garrus felt her muscles pulsate and quiver. He continued until she relaxed, about 30 seconds later and her breathing became slower. He smiled and started crawling back up close to her. She had her hand over her face, palm up, taking deep breaths in and out. "Feel good?" he asked.

She whipped her hand off her face and looked at him with an animal lust he'd never seen in a human before. She grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around on his back slamming him on the bed, straddling him. She started grinding on his plates, he could feel her juices running down on him. He groaned, "Jane, I can't wait any longer-"

"Then don't wait." She said through gritted teeth and leaned over and placed little bites on his neck. He grabbed her hips, digging his talons into her. She could feel his plates shift and the head of his penis emerge underneath her. The friction from his plates rubbed against her clit, sending pleasurable shocks through her. "Spirits, Jane, I – " he couldn't talk any more as she pushed her hips down and took the head of his penis inside her. She let out delicious moans as she started rocking back and forth slowly, then picking up speed as he continued to lengthen and harden inside her.

He was completely inside her, her soft wet core enveloping him. He couldn't believe this was happening, and it was better than any sex he'd ever had. What had he been so afraid of? She was amazing, and he wanted more and more of her. "Garrus, oh fuck, I'm going to, going to, uhhh-" the sensation of the ribs on his penis was unreal. Damn, Jack was right. Her walls started to tighten around him and she yelled, "I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" Garrus allowed himself his own release as he held her hips tighter and spilled into her. She was shocked as she felt heat from his ejaculation. She lay on top of him and clung tightly to him as they both continued to spasm. As their breathing slowed, she stayed on top of him as he rubbed his fingers down her back. She started to pull off, when he grabbed her, holding her tight.

"Not yet Jane." He gave her a warning look. "There are small spines that come out of my penis after I ejaculate to hold you in place. You have to wait a few minutes before they retract or you'll get torn up."

Shepard's eyes widened and she nodded and lay back down on top of him, feeling his heat and relaxing on top of him while still straddling his hips. He continued to caress her back. After a few minutes he pulled out of her easily and she lay next to him, cuddling into the crook of his arm, laying her hand on his chest. He looked down at her peaceful, satisfied smile and pulled her a little closer.

"That went much better than I thought it would." He mused.

She giggled. "Not the awful interspecies awkwardness you were afraid of?"

"Far from it. You are amazing, Jane. I'm completely addicted to you now, I hope you realize that."

"Garrus, that was the best sex I've ever had. To feel that close to you, was just…"

He looked down at her, "Are you crying?"

She wiped her face, "Dammit, I don't know what it is about you Garrus, you bring all these emotions out in me." She laughed. "I guess I've just dreamt about being with you for so long, wishing you would want to be with me, I can't believe it's really happening. I'm so, so happy."

He let out a sigh, "So am I Jane." He pulled the sheet up over them and they fell asleep intertwining their limbs.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard was the first to wake up in the morning. She felt a rough hand over her waist, and looked down, remembering the night before. She smiled widely and put her hand over his, pulling herself back up to him, feeling him against her back. She turned around and looked at him sleeping soundly. She ran her fingertips lightly over his cheek, then down to his chest and shoulders. She looked up to see him looking back down on her.

"Shepard. How are you feeling?"

She laughed, "I thought you were calling me Jane now."

"Oh," he blearily looked around, "I was still half asleep." He leaned over and pulled his forehead down to hers. "Good morning."

"Mmm, good morning. I was thinking of taking a shower, care to join me?"

Garrus was fully awake now. "Definitely."

She got up and walked carefully around their clothes and his boots scattered around the floor towards the shower as Garrus got up and followed closely behind her. "Oh, wait, bathroom first." She said and made him wait outside as she took a quick pee.

She came outside and allowed him to go in next saying, "Some things have to stay private, you know?"

"You won't get an argument from me." A moment later he opened the door and had the shower already running. She stepped into the steam and held her hair back into the spray. Garrus took her soap and started lathering it up, running his hands over her body.

"That lotion really worked. You don't have any scrapes at all."

"No, just these." She turned around and let him see the dark bruises on her hips from his blunt talons digging into her hips and thighs.

"Spirits, I'm sorry, I really tried hard not to."

She laughed, "Don't worry Garrus, I loved it." She reached out and pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around his waist. He reached up and felt the water weighing down her hair. She was right, its transformative nature was intriguing. She looked over, realizing he was holding her hair again and smiled. He looked down at her, "Beautiful, so beautiful," and leaned over to kiss her. She reached up for his face and held him in her hands. The water sprayed down around them. She reached down with one hand, feeling around his plates.

"Jane…" he said in warning.

She smiled, "What?"

"Don't."

"Why do you keep telling me that?" She could feel his plates start to shift and looked down to see the head of a blue penis start to emerge. "It's blue! I didn't know that!" She grabbed it with her hand, and shocked by the sensation, Garrus fell back against the wall of the shower. She grinned up at him, "Feel good?" He nodded yes. She wrapped her hands around him and squeezed, rubbing up and down. "Spirits, that feels amazing." She smiled devilishly and knelt down in front of him. "What –" Garrus asked looking down at her. Suddenly he let out a loud growl as she took the head of his penis in her mouth. Her warmth around him as she encircled him with her tongue, then started sucking on him, he never thought such a feeling was possible. She squeezed her hands around his base, then kept sucking harder and harder as he reached down and held her head, entwining his hands in her wet hair. This was pure bliss, and as he felt himself start to release, he panicked and pulled her away, "No, Jane, you can't." She understood, and stood up and turned around to face the wall of the shower looking back over her shoulder at him, "Well, then time to finish up." The sight of her with her hands on the wall, legs apart in submission snapped him into a primitive mode, and he let out a loud growl, reaching for her waist and hiking her up to his hips. He wrapped her hair around his other hand in a fist, holding her hard against the shower wall. He put his tip at her hot, wet core, and entered her roughly. She cried out in pain and ecstasy, as he relentlessly pushed up inside her. He reached down with one finger and was able to massage her clit while still holding her up to him. She pulled her legs up and wrapped them around the back of his legs so they were one together. She cried out as he felt her walls clamp down around him, and he pulled his face down, his teeth bared and hovered over her neck, but he kept himself in check, running his tongue over her instead. He came, and once again she felt the thrilling sensation of his hot juices spilling inside her. Next time she would make him let her finish off with her mouth. She could stay still for a few minutes while the spines retreated. As long as she didn't move the wrong way, they wouldn't impale her. She hadn't felt them last night, or this morning. They must be angled in one direction. They breathed heavily for another minute, then he pulled out of her, and she placed her legs down on the ground, still bracing her hands on the wall.

Garrus held onto her hips, and caressed her round ass, looking appreciatively at her. She turned around and leaned against the cool metal wall, smiling at her boyfriend. "Spirits, I'm speechless Jane."

"If I'd known it would be like this, I would have jumped you back on the SR1." She said.

Garrus laughed, "And I would have let you."

They soaped off, Garrus finishing first. He was dressed in last night's clothes while Shepard was just finishing up in the shower. "Why don't you head on down to the mess hall, and I'll meet you there in 15 minutes?"

"Sounds good. I'll change real quick, then get some breakfast for us. What would you like?"

She stepped out of the shower in a robe, scrunching her long curls in a towel. "I'll have whatever you're having."

"Really?"

"Yea, it'll be great." She held her face up and gave him a kiss.

Shepard joined Garrus down in the mess hall. He had breakfast made for both of them.

"Are you sure, Jane, you want the dextro breakfast?"

She smiled and leaned against his arm, "I like it. It's growing on me." They sat down at the table and ate while different members of the crew milled past them getting their own breakfast. She saw a few of them talk to each other in whispers and look in their direction smiling, although some of the Cerberus crew were shooting them nasty looks. _I suppose that's to be expected_ , Shepard thought. She never lived her life to please other people, and she wasn't about to start now.

Kasumi walked in and took in the intimacy between them and threw Shepard a beaming smile. She looked back at Kasumi and nodded her head. Garrus caught her looking at Kasumi. "I guess the rest of the crew is finding out."

"You know how people love to gossip, Garrus. We've given them something juicy to talk about. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Garrus shook his head, "I know we can be professional with work. I don't care who knows." He took her hand. "I'd broadcast it over the Citadel, you know."

She laughed, "Give it a few days, it probably will be."

He squeezed her hand, "Good, then everyone will know if they mess with my girlfriend, they mess with me. We're a team, always have been, always will be."

He got quieter, "How are you feeling?" he was concerned, they'd gone at it pretty hard.

Her cheeks turned a little pink, "I'm a little sore, but very happy."

"No allergic reactions?"

"None, what about you?"

"Nope, nothing bad. I can't stop thinking about you, though." he let out a low growling sound.

Samara walked up to them. "Commander, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just received notification that I will be accompanying you on our next mission."

"Yes, we're going to Illium to help out a friend of mine, Liara. We have to get supplies, and we're going on a mission to find the Shadow broker. Tali's coming too." Shepard finished off her last bite of food.

"Garrus will not be coming?" Samara looked at him.

"No, I need strong biotics and Tali's decryption skills."

"Very well. What is our ETA?"

"I think about 5 hours." She contacted Joker on the com, "Joker, how long until we reach Illium?"

 _"_ _About 4 and a half hours, Commander."_

"Thanks, Joker. You know, Samara, just because Garrus and I are together doesn't mean he'll be going with me on every mission."

Samara raised an eyebrow, "You two are together? I was not aware of that Shepard. However, I would never question your commitment to the mission over your personal feelings. I'll be ready when it's time to go on the mission." She left the mess hall.

Shepard looked sheepishly at Garrus, "I guess I'm a little defensive."

"Completely forgivable, Jane. You're protective too. I like it." He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. She reveled in the feeling. "Well, I've got to get back to my quarters. Calibrations."

"Wait –" Shepard reached for his arm and Garrus stopped.

"I wanted to ask you if you would, well…" Shepard looked down, "umm."

"What is it? Jane, there's no reason to feel awkward with me, no secrets between us anymore." Garrus looked into her eyes.

She took a deep breath, "Okay, I wanted to ask you if you would move in with me in my quarters."

Garrus' mandibles fluttered. "Definitely. I'll get my things together and bring them up to your – our, quarters. It'll be a little while, though, because I am behind in my work."

She beamed, "Sure, I'll see you later." He turned and walked back to the main battery, knowing Shepard was watching him appreciatively the whole way.

Shepard sighed and brought her empty plate up to Gardner and then went to the elevator and up to her quarters. She emptied out some drawers in her dresser and at her desk. She decided she'd better get ready for the mission because once Garrus was up there, she wanted to give him her full attention. She contacted Liara and let her know they were on their way. Using the reports she'd gotten, she researched as much as she could for the mission, then started a supply list for the Normandy. Illium had markets with items they couldn't get elsewhere, so they needed to make the most of their trip there. She was starting to contact Tali when EDI came over the com.

 _Shepard, Operative Lawson requests your presence in her quarters._

"I'll be right down, EDI."

She needed a break anyway, not that a meeting with Miranda was a break, but since she'd helped her with her sister, she felt they had come to a better understanding of each other. She walked off the elevator and punched the button on Miranda's quarters.

"Commander. Thank you for coming down so quickly."

"Sure, whatever you need Miranda."

The door closed behind her and Shepard sat down across from her at her desk. Miranda looked down at the datapads on her desk, avoiding eye contact. She cleared her throat, "Commander. I've disabled the Cerberus bugs and cameras so we can have a private conversation."

Shepard nodded.

Miranda looked up at Shepard, folding her hands together on her desk. "The Illusive man has become aware of your relationship with a non-human member of the crew. While he understands the contributions of non-human crew to the mission, he strongly disagrees with this turn of events. It crosses a line that a Cerberus ship Commander should not cross."

Shepard sat stunned. Not so much from the Illusive man's views, but with how Miranda was so steadily relaying them to her, in agreement with at least part of what he was saying.

Miranda braced herself for Shepard's reaction, clenching her jaw in preparation for the verbal assault.

Shepard decided to disappoint her. She stood up and started to pace slowly around the room. "So, does the Illusive man have an issue with my ability to Command effectively while in a relationship with a crew member per se, or because it is with a Turian?" She stopped and looked at Miranda for an answer.

Miranda sat impassively, "Because it is with a non-human crew member. It's a breach in security-"

Shepard interrupted, "No, it's prejudice. Garrus is a former C-sec officer, and has proven beyond many other members of this crew his loyalty to me, to the Normandy and the Alliance, and to humanity. He is above reproach. No, this is the Illusive man's own personal dislike and distaste of alien interspecies relationships, and it has nothing to do with the mission. My personal life is off limits to you, and to him." She sat down and looked calmly back at her.

Miranda sighed, she'd hoped somehow this would go easier, that Shepard would understand how this was a bad idea. It would cause division with the rest of the crew. She spoke more softly, "Shepard, can't you see what this will do to the crew? Some have already complained-"

"Then if they want, they can disembark when we get to Illium, no repercussions."

Miranda started to get frustrated, "It's just not that simple, Shepard."

"See, I think it is. If some people are that disgusted by it, and no longer feel comfortable serving under my command, I'm not going to force them to stay or try to make them change their beliefs. They are free to go."

Miranda stared back at her, tightening her lips. She hadn't wanted to play hard ball, but she was going to have to.

Reading her mind, Shepard stopped her before Miranda tipped on the wrong side of the line she had been walking between Shepard and the Illusive man since she came on the ship.

"This is not up for debate. This may be a Cerberus ship, but I've made it very clear that I am working with them, not for them. I am not Cerberus." She stood back up and turned to go.

Suddenly Shepard stopped and said, "What is the Illusive man's stand on homosexual relationships?"

Miranda was surprised, but she maintained her composure. "He is steadfastly against that. Again, it creates issues with the crew."

Shepard put her hands on Miranda's desk and leaned over, "Then how much does he like you screwing Subject Zero?"

Miranda's reaction was immediate. She shot up out of her chair, turning intensely red with rage, "What! What are you talking about! That is not true!"

Shepard didn't budge, "So you haven't told him then?"

Miranda was speechless. How did she find out? "Fuck!" she threw her chair across the room with a biotic charge.

Shepard leaned back crossing her arms and smiled. Miranda turned to Shepard, eyes blazing, "Jack told you! Who else knows? Dammit!" She held her head in her hands. Her eyes started to fill with tears. Jack had promised her, promised her she would keep their relationship a secret, and she had trusted her. Couldn't she trust anyone?

"Don't worry Miranda, Jack never said a word. Honestly I had no idea. It was just a hunch. You told me with your reaction."

Miranda looked up at Shepard and realized her mistake. "Jack didn't tell you about us?" she wiped a tear away.

Shepard shook her head no. Miranda picked up her chair and slumped down in it. "I suppose I have no choice now but to back you up."

"Miranda, I'm not blackmailing you, I won't tell anyone. You have my word. I just want to show you how doing our job and having a personal life is a right that we all are entitled to. What you do with your personal life is your business. I can handle the Illusive man's displeasure, as long as he doesn't interfere with my mission. Garrus and I certainly won't."

Miranda looked up at her. "I – I'm sorry Shepard. You must think I'm a horrible hypocrite."

"I know you're in a difficult position, Miranda. I just won't compromise myself for him or for Cerberus. Let him know that, and if he wants to talk to me about it directly, I have no problem doing so." The fact that he had tried to go through Miranda told Shepard he knew he wouldn't be able to get anywhere with her directly. He used her new friendship with Miranda to try and sway her to his will.

Miranda looked down, dejected. Shepard spoke softly, "Look, Miranda, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but this is a tough mission, and wherever you find love or comfort, I don't see a problem with that. It means you're human, not just machine, you know? We can't control who we fall for, and as long as it's not a hurtful relationship, then we don't have to make other people understand."

Miranda nodded. Shepard reached over and put her hand on her shoulder, then left the room. At the door Miranda's voice stopped her, "Thanks, Shepard."

Shepard nodded and walked to the elevator heading back to her quarters. When she got to her room, Garrus was already there unpacking his clothes. She smiled, walking over to him.

"Hey, EDI said you were talking to Lawson. Everything okay?"

"Yup, it will be I think." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest and breathing in his scent deeply. She smirked to herself, thinking how the Illusive man thought she would give this up. She had dreamed of being with Garrus for so long, nothing would stop her from being with him.


End file.
